you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
