Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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