R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
