Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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