New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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