He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
