fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
