sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
