You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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