In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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