you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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