We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
