so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
