I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize