May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize