So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
