I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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