You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry about my life...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
