I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
