youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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