Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Duck Duck Cougar?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
