I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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