i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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