You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
