he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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