I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
