I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
