She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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