my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
