we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
