We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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