you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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