i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
