I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
