how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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