Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
