Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
