remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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