I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
