Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize