He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
