Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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