no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
