oh god the rape fog is back!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
