she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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