Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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