Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
