I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
