I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
