My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
