from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize