also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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