this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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