nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
