I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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