I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You made out with two different species that night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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