saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
