I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
