My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
