You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize