she was so not down for the gang bang
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize