And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
please come you make the beer taste better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize