OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
is it fun? or sober?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
