why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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