So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
