There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He passed out mid-signature
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize