When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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