I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
