Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
