How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
