Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
