Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
