Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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