You really coming over, don't trick.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we're making bets on your personal life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
