I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
