Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
