so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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