I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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