is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
