i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
only if we run a train.
done.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
