I wish I could teleport
I just threw up on my dentist
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
