Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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