Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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