Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
