We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
