God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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