just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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