You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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