found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
