he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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